Blonde Jokes

Jokes about blonde girls

Q: Why can’t a blonde dial 911?

A: She can’t find the eleven.


A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it’s for. He responds, „It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.“

The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it.

Her coworker asks, „What do you have in it?“

She replies, „Soup and ice cream.“


While her husband was at work, a blonde decided to paint their living room.

After her husband arrives home, he finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat while wearing a parka and a mink. He asked her what she was doing.

She said, „I wanted to prove to you that not all blonde women are dumb, and I wanted to do it by painting the living room.“

He says that he was impressed at the good job she had done, but asked, „Why are you wearing two coats?

She replied, „I read the directions on the paint can, and they said, “For best results, put on two coats!'“


Q: What did the blonde customer say after reading the buxom waitress’s name tag?

A: „What did you name the other one?“


Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign for the YMCA?

A: „Look, they spelled Macy’s wrong!“


Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?

A: Pregnant.


Q: Why couldn’t the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?

A: She couldn’t find the 10 key.


Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland and came to a fork in the road. The sign read: „Disneyland Left.“

So they went home.


Two blondes walk into a tanning salon. The receptionist asks, „Are you two sisters?“

They chuckled and reply, “ No, we aren’t even Catholic.“